This cold!

I know it is winter and all but it is absolutely freezing outside. It was 8 degrees with a negative wind chill when I left for work. I know there are plenty of other states that may consider this warm but come on Maryland is consider south of the mason dixon! My neighbor has his dog outside through the snow and the cold not sure how to report it but it’s just sad and unacceptable. He states that he is a puppy and tears everything up in the house. Well! News flash that’s what puppies do! Charlie runs out to pee and speeds back in because it’s so cold! Charlie is spoiled and loves the warmth

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I love him to pieces!!! I wonder how he will do around a baby considering he is so spoiled now. He has to have my attention all the time. I’m hoping he will be a great big brother and just watch over him/her.

I have been doing fairly well with the eating. Mostly clean eating. No soda for about a week…with that comes migraines but hopefully it will pass. Nicole and I started a challenge group, it’s pretty strict posting daily food pictures. Checking in at the gym. And much more. However I think that helps with accountability. I signed up for a zumba class starting next Thursday after work for an hour with one of the of my Co workers. I am a horrible dancer and have no rhythm. Exercise is exercise I suppose! We weigh in next Monday, so I will update on the progress of that.

It’s so crazy to think that at this time next year I could be pregnant (God willing)!!! I seriously cannot wait. I have baby fever x infinity. I can’t wait to shop for a little one, hold them, spoil them, love them! I also can’t wait for my parents to be grandparents they are going to be so great at it. I am hoping Nicole`s mom takes well to it considering she wasn’t to fond of me at first. She didn’t come to the wedding. She is very religious. However over the past year we have really grown on each other. She even says she loves me. This is definitely a lot of progress.

Nicole got food poisoning Tuesday so not alot of house chores have been done. Being a nurse I felt I need to take care of her and constantly ask her how she was, what I could do to help. Oh and being a pull pusher.  She hates meds but sometimes they are necessary. I should probably get up and clean before she gets home from work but sometimes when I get off work I just need a moment to rest. My job isn’t hard by any means but work is work.

I had a suprise birthday party for my best friend last night. She was definitely suprised and I was happy a good amount of people were able to come. The chef during the hibachi was so rude. We mentioned it was her birthday and he said “I don’t care” I was so taken back! I thought maybe he was joking around but then the rudeness continued. Nicole is all about customer service so she asked him to watch how he says things because they were coming off rude. Well that only pissed him off he mentioned rude would be knocking your glasses off. At that point Nicole went and spoke to the manager. It’s really hard for a chef to stop in the mild of the hibachi so we just delta with it. He continued to make comments through the dinner service. The manager gave the table drinks of the house but really didn’t help us out since I don’t drink and Nicoles stomach was still uneasy. Overall I still enjoyed hanging out with all my nurse friends.

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Did I mention she is a 30 something obsessed with One Direction ie Harry Stiles! I got her a life size cutout for the party, she let him sit up front on the way home!

Well dishes are calling my name 😒
-Candice

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First post.

I love writing all the things going through my mind. However I am quite sure it would be a never ending story. I realize my mind is constantly going and I rarely turn it off. Hence my insomnia issues.

I’d say the thoughts that mostly occupy my mind is weight loss and baby. I have such baby fever. I am not sure if it’s because I turn 30 in less than a month and half or because we truly have a plan. However the weight loss and baby thoughts go hand and hand. I want to loose a considerable amount of weight before we start trying. The plan is to start IUI in end of June or July. That’s 6 months to get my butt in gear. I guess I find some comfort in food. I’m not totally sure where it stems from but it’s always been there. I have never been small or skinny by any means. I was one of the tallest and heavier kids since I can remember. I know my “love for food” is no where near my desire to be a mom.

I have planned for my future children before I even knew how babies were made! I know I am destined to be a mom. I’m just worried it won’t or can’t happen. My periods have never been regular by any means. My weight definitely has an affect on them as well. I had an ultrasound a few years ago and everything was good ( I was having flank pain and they wanted to rule out a cyst) ended up being a herniated disk which eventually caused me to loose sensation in my legs prevent me from walking for a month or so. I literally had to crawl to the bathroom. When I think about it, it was actually insane that my life was like that at some point. Nicole, my wife, oh did I mention we are a lesbian couple living a pretty much “normal life”, any who she has been so amazing and supportive through my worse, through my surgery and the long long recovery. Anyways flash forward high dose steroids for months, not walking and back pain I put on lbs blood pressure became elevated as did my blood sugar. So now I’m in the process of trying to recover from all of this all while feeling like I’m running out of baby time.

So many of my friends and coworkers have and continue to have babies! I mean it also might be that they don’t have to all go to a fertility doctor to try to get pregnant either. I know plenty of heterosexual couples struggle with fertility too and I respect them very much. It’s just hard not being able to at least try. I am just afraid on top of that I will struggle getting pregnant.

Well thats probably enough for now! So I hope that some will being this journey of ttc with us.

This is us! Picture from our wedding in 2012. (Yikes! Seems like it was yesterday!)

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– Candice